That’s it.

I’ve decided that I suck and not suck in a good way that makes you popular if you get what I’m saying, but I suck as in the weird kid in the back of the classroom who has a lazy eye and eats pocket lint.  Speaking of that kid, I think I actually know him and every time he comes to my office he creeps me out so bad that I’ve offered to be the lesbian lover for a single co-worker of mine – even though I’m married and wear a wedding ring but I don’t really think he’s bright enough to catch that anyway.

So anyway – I’m not really popular, cool or exciting and it’s got me bummed.  I’m like the kind of person that you invite to the party not because I’m a fashionista or know a bunch of crap about world politics – I mean, I at least know that Obama made president so I’m caught up that way…. other than that – I have no interest in politics.  Just keep me safe, Mr. President and like keep the economy going so I can have my little job and I can make a little money and we’ll be okay.  Anyway – back to the point.  I’m the person you invite to the party because when I’m off my medication, I’m a friggin blast to be around.  I say whatever I want and because I’m unmedicated, I just go off without a filter.  I say all sorts of embarrassing stuff – usually about myself and things that other humans shouldn’t know – and it’s really funny and people laugh at me which makes it much worse and I just say more unfiltered stuff and it just occurred to me that maybe it’s not laughing because I’m funny – maybe it’s laughing in that way like you do when something is very sad and pathetic and you are too polite and just kind of laugh in an awkward way to smooth the situation over but the whole time you are tugging your husband’s arm and counting down the minutes until you can leave.


I am pathetic. and not popular. or cool. or exciting.  Yep.  I’m just like the kid – lazy eye, eating pocket lint and humming the theme to Sesame Street.