Can we all agree that there are enough commercials for things that – shall we say – should remain private?  I mean, I like Elvis and I get psyched when I hear Viva Las Vegas kick up on a commercial only to get blindsided when it’s a band of old guys and they are singing Viva Viagra.  Come on.  And then all day, I’m stuck with Viva Viagra running through my brain.  Or how about the commercial where the couples are sitting in separate bathtubs and they are holding hands and watching the sunset… it seems that the object of male enhancing medication is so you aren’t watching the sunset in two different tubs.  Those are probably people who never had kids to begin with because it just seems that their logic is all wrong and they are probably not bright enough to figure out how the baby making thing goes.  But seriously – I can handle medication commercials… I hate seeing those smiling guy commercials or the ones that are for the non FDA approved male enhancements – who is buying that crap?  I guarantee, I’m adventurous and I’ll try a lot of stuff but when it comes to enhancing certain parts of my body, I’m going to trust that the federal government knows what is good for me and if they don’t put their seal of approval on something, it’s not going in me or on me or near me or even in the same house as me because you can never return that kind of crap – they already disconnected the phone and packed the office up and moved to some place in southeast Asia.

I guess the commercials that I really hate to see are those things for feminine supplies and I mean the whole gamut of supplies – things that are advertised for “itch and odor”… how.flipping.nasty.and.disgusting.  I think I just vomited a little into my mouth.  Those kinds of products are the things that you know are there and you know where to go when you need those kinds of things.  I don’t think now is the time to start celebrating feminine hygiene in advertising and I guarantee I wouldn’t want to be in marketing and win some kind of award for the most creative use of tampons in a television commercial although that would be a little fun to watch – almost like a high school science project where they give you a product and see what you can build using it.

I’m starting a campaign to move the more delicate side of human relations back behind closed doors because that way it will free up more air time for that hilarious E-Trade baby with the Blackberry.  That’s a hoot.  If you’re on board with my campaign, sign up below.